I came across a quote from Desmond Tutu which goes:
“We need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in.” – Desmond Tutu
There is a fine line between living in your past and learning from it. When people come to therapy, they almost always do with some emphasis on wanting to understand something – and the answer is always found, at least in part, by going back. Back to the story of childhood, back to how relationships were experienced, to how patterns and dynamics were created and reinforced.
Living in the past brings us no joy; it can harbour feelings of resentment and it tends to put us in a relentless loop of the ‘what ifs.’ Our focus becomes on what could have been and on what we don’t currently have. But understanding our past is a healing journey. Becoming more intimate with our own story will allow us to lean into forgiveness and grace. It comes with a settled feeling and a sense of direction. It gifts us faith in ourselves to be in charge of our own narrative. 🙂
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@hadijasaidi