The Back and Forth of Love

Very often, clients come to therapy because of a back and forth relationship; stuck between knowing that the relationship is no longer working for them and locked into their attachment system’s eternal hope that “things might change.”

I came across this song by Toronto artist Barbara Lica called “Before I Do.” To me, it embodies what I often refer to as the “change it, accept it, or leave it” work we need to do when faced with an issue we feel lost in.

Before I Do

Before I start to make the bed 
Before the pictures in my head 
Before I paint the walls a shade of blue 
To match the carpet in the living room 

Before I do 
Before you don’t 
Before I let my foolish heart begin to hope 
Before I ask you where you’ve been

Tell me, darling, are you out or are you in?

So if I give you all my time 
And let my stories flow like wine 
Should I believe you when you tell me how 
You’ve never felt the way you feel right now 

Tell me, darling, are you out 
Or are you in?

Tomorrow’s post will explore the trappings of the inability to commit.

To listen to Barbara Lica’s song:

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