For a full year after my ex-husband and I separated, I was alone. I had made two goals for myself in the after months; my first one was to keep my girls protected by making sure their emotional needs were being met and the other was to let my ex go. I knew instinctively, that after being with him for 23 years, I was going to need to healthily detach from him before moving forward in another relationship.
Being alone is not easy; we are a relationship species, driven to connect. I learned in those first few months that time could fluctuate from normal, to busy, to excruciatingly slow at times. I learned pretty quickly that if I didn’t build my weekends, the blues would set in. And so, I would plan; activities with the kids, with my sister, with friends. I learned that being a third wheel wasn’t so bad (my couple friends were so amazing!) and on days when no one was available, I’d say to my Great Dane, “Let’s go for a ride in the car,” and we’d head to a local village for a walk along the water and an ice cream cone. She was my faithful companion.
Eventually, I worked myself around to feeling that I was ready to go to dinner with someone, and my goals for finding a new relationship were formed (that is a whole different post!) Looking back, I can honestly say what a valuable time “being alone” was for me in my own journey of healing. And yet, I was far from alone. I had my village, my peeps, my tribe. I had me 🙂
“Being alone doesn’t mean that you’re by yourself. It means that you’re in fulfillment – in joy, in satisfaction – with you.” -Iyanla Vanzant
Photo credit: http://Photo by Xan Griffin on Unsplash
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