Anchor Your Day ~ a mental health blog by Counselwise ~

The Colour of Our Sky

I read the book “The Colour of Our Sky” by Amita Trasi while on holidays this summer. Nothing I like better than getting into a great book while sitting on the sunny shores of the beach and listening to the waves.

Here is a passage that I would like to share with you: “He used to take me around the village and tell me that all people are equal and that people from the lower caste should not be treated the way we were treating them. Initially, I couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell me. But later on, slowly, I discovered that there is one thing that we all have in common, irrespective of anyone’s caste or religion: we all get hurt in life, we all want to survive and be happy, and we all deserve to be treated well. After all, we don’t choose where we are born but we can work hard and pave our way to success. And every person on earth deserves to have that chance.”

“The Colour of Our Sky” by Amita Trasi is a worthy read.

Photo credit: http://Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

Anxiety Fact #1

Anxiety is normal. We are actually pre-programmed to worry. Eons ago, when we lived on the plains, we had to worry. It was imperative to our survival that we worried about shelter, worried about how we were going to get food, worried about how to make fire. And so, anxiety, although it feels uncomfortable, is a very adaptive and necessary process and it is part of our survival brain. Everyone experiences anxiety at times.

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”
– Roy T. Bennett

Information for this post and a great website is:   https://www.anxietybc.com/

Photo credit: http://Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash

Judge Judy: Part 2

Part Two on the podcast called “Clear and Vivid with Alan Alda” whose guest speaker was Judge Judy: In another part of the podcast, Alan Alda and Judge Judy are speaking about relationships and Judge Judy remarks that “Anger is a much easier emotion to deal with than pain or sorrow.” She goes on to put this into the context of divorce and how that can ultimately damage children. She says:

Read moreJudge Judy: Part 2

Podcast: Alan Alda with guest Judge Judy

I recently listened to a podcast called “Clear and Vivid with Alan Alda” whose guest speaker was Judge Judy. In one part of the podcast, Alan Alda asks Judge Judy about her ability to read people and this is her response: “It doesn’t start out with reading people; it starts out with a story. It starts out with the common sense of things. It starts out with if something doesn’t make sense, it’s usually not true. Now there is aberrative behaviour where something happens and

Read morePodcast: Alan Alda with guest Judge Judy

Fairy Godmother

I recently posted this quote to my Facebook page: “What if your fairy godmother is the wisest, smartest version of your self – whispering from the future? -Blissimo”

One thing that I know for sure is that I am certainly a wiser version of myself at 47 than I was at 22! The knowledge and experiences that we gather along the way help to inform our decisions, allow us to be more aware of our surroundings and can definitely help us to not feel quite so defenseless when faced with adversity. Perhaps what adds to this wiser, smarter version of ourselves is also a conscious decision on our part to always be moving forward, for it is in growth that we find the ability to be reflective. It is about being curious, not only about what interests us, but also about the things that hold us back; to give ourselves permission to expand or change what may not be working for us anymore; to attend to our instincts. Perhaps it is in this evolutionary time and space of growth that we can experience the unfolding of our selves into our own fairy godmother.

Photo credit: http://Photo by Ethan Hoover on Unsplash

A Body in Motion Stays in Motion

Who would have thought that Newton’s First Law of Physics was going to be useful in helping to understand the cycle of depression? But his Law of Inertia is often a good way to comprehend how depression can take hold of us. Depression uses two ways to keep us in it’s grip. One is through isolation; it likes to isolate us from the activities we like to enjoy and the people we like to spend time with. The second way is that depression kills effort. We often feel a change in our levels of motivation when feeling blue. Take isolation and no effort and we have the perfect recipe for disengagement. What is interesting about this, is that disengagement itself can lead to feeling blue. If we purposefully stayed in bed for days (when we weren’t in a depressed state), we would soon begin to experience the symptoms of depression! And so we can turn to Newton for some advice when it comes to beating the blues; get moving! Get up, get showered, make plans, get outside (even if you don’t feel like it); for a body in motion stays in motion and you will feel better for it at the end of your day.

Photo credit: Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash

 

Saying I’m Sorry

What is a proper apology? I can tell you that any apology that starts out with “I’m sorry but…” is not an apology. Neither is “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Essentially when you word an apology in these ways, you are negating the whole purpose of saying sorry which is to acknowledge a wrong doing while seeking repair. It is about owning up to your role in the conflict. Essentially, you wish to say you are sorry for the behaviour you feel guilty about EVEN when the person you are apologizing to may have their own reason to apologize. Example: When you want to say “I’m sorry that I yelled at you but you really pissed me off,” actually needs to be “I’m sorry that I yelled at you when I got angry. It is not the way I want to handle things.” Period. End of story. If you are lucky enough to get an “It’s okay, I got heated too and said things I didn’t mean either” than you are off to a great start in repairing the rift. And if you don’t get an answer, or the person you are saying sorry to is still feeling prickly, then reward the effort. Chalk that one up to a healthy choice in the relationship books and you are free to let go of any guilt that is still lingering around for having lost your cool. 😊

Photo credit: http://Photo by Max Bender on Unsplash

Relationship Phrases 101

There are 6 relationship phrases that are considered important when looking at the health of a relationship or family. After reading these phrases, you may think “Hey, we do that,” but let’s look at it a bit more closely. The 6 phrases are “Please,” “Thank you,” “You’re Welcome,” “I love you,” “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you.” Although at first glance this appears to be just about good manners, it is important to think about the context of when and how you use these phrases. Do you use them with your partner or spouse? With your children? Are they encouraged between partners, parent and child, siblings? Sometimes it’s easy to say “Grab me a coke when you go to the kitchen;” and forget the importance of the appreciation phrases of  “please” and “thank you.” Are you able to say sorry to your partner? To your child? That is sometimes a tough one, and it often comes from what we learned about apologies growing up. When we say

Read moreRelationship Phrases 101

Anchor Your Day

Welcome to my very first blog post! Anchoring your day is a concept in self-care strategy. When we purposefully engage in a peaceful activity at either the start of our day, end of our day (or both!), we are feeding our souls and nurturing our spirit. One of my favourite things to do in the morning is to get up while everyone is still sleeping and sit peacefully in my comfy armchair with a freshly brewed coffee. This is my time to think about my day, scroll through Facebook or read for a bit (esp. if my book is really good!) What matters here is to choose an anchor activity that brings you a feeling of contentment. For some people this is prayer, for others meditation, a morning or evening walk, a cuddle with our pet, journaling, etc. By anchoring our day, we are reminded of the importance of the moments of simplicity, not only becoming more aware of and valuing our inherent need for peace but consciously making space for it as well.

Photo credit: http://Photo by Ximena Nahmias on Unsplash

Anchor Your Day

Thank you for visiting! The purpose of this blog is to provide short, daily counsel on a variety of topics and interesting facts about mental health. We all live busy lives which is why the focus of this blog is to have something relatively quick to read; it can act as an “anchor to your day” so to speak. If you would like to have this blog sent to your email directly on a daily basis, please follow the link below (you can unsubscribe at any time) and join me on the path to self-care.