In a recent podcast I listened to called “Other People’s Problems,” with therapist Hillary McBride, she was showcasing a session with “Maggie” and had this to say about the problematic behaviours we sometimes choose to help us cope with stress and hurt.
“Looking at these [unhealthy] behaviours through the lens of emotional regulation, these are all things that [Maggie] is doing to manage her low mood or depression. There are all sorts of things that all of us do to manage a low mood, to boost us up a little bit. And the feeling of doing something indulgent actually gives us a sense of relief, again, maybe reward and excitement………..so it’s not unusual for people to use behaviours that can become addictive like eating, using pornography, gambling, shopping; any behaviour that creates a dopamine rush in us. That those can be ways we can actually disengage in life and numb out as a way of avoiding pain, sadness, responsibility in life. So we want to make sure its not creating dysfunction.”
I resonated especially with this last sentence; when we
Depression makes it hard to give. I often see clients who come into therapy because they live with a person who is struggling with depression and they are looking for ways to cope. One of the things that is quite common to hear is their perspective that their loved one “doesn’t contribute very much” which in turn places a greater weight on them to manage the household and family. And, as sympathetic as they attempt to be, resentment eventually plays a role in the dynamic between them.
I read the book “The Colour of Our Sky” by Amita Trasi while on holidays this summer. Nothing I like better than getting into a great book while sitting on the sunny shores of the beach and listening to the waves.
Anxiety is normal. We are actually pre-programmed to worry. Eons ago, when we lived on the plains, we had to worry. It was imperative to our survival that we worried about shelter, worried about how we were going to get food, worried about how to make fire. And so, anxiety, although it feels uncomfortable, is a very adaptive and necessary process and it is part of our survival brain. Everyone experiences anxiety at times. 
Part Two on the podcast called “Clear and Vivid with Alan Alda” whose guest speaker was Judge Judy: In another part of the podcast, Alan Alda and Judge Judy are speaking about relationships and Judge Judy remarks that “Anger is a much easier emotion to deal with than pain or sorrow.” She goes on to put this into the context of divorce and how that can ultimately damage children. She says:
I recently listened to a podcast called “Clear and Vivid with Alan Alda” whose guest speaker was Judge Judy. In one part of the podcast, Alan Alda asks Judge Judy about her ability to read people and this is her response: “It doesn’t start out with reading people; it starts out with a story. It starts out with the common sense of things. It starts out with if something doesn’t make sense, it’s usually not true. Now there is aberrative behaviour where something happens and 
Welcome to my very first blog post! Anchoring your day is a concept in self-care strategy. When we purposefully engage in a peaceful activity at either the start of our day, end of our day (or both!), we are feeding our souls and nurturing our spirit. One of my favourite things to do in the morning is to get up while everyone is still sleeping