In a recent podcast I listened to called “Other People’s Problems,” with therapist Hillary McBride, she was showcasing a session with “Maggie” and had this to say about the problematic behaviours we sometimes choose to help us cope with stress and hurt.
“Looking at these [unhealthy] behaviours through the lens of emotional regulation, these are all things that [Maggie] is doing to manage her low mood or depression. There are all sorts of things that all of us do to manage a low mood, to boost us up a little bit. And the feeling of doing something indulgent actually gives us a sense of relief, again, maybe reward and excitement………..so it’s not unusual for people to use behaviours that can become addictive like eating, using pornography, gambling, shopping; any behaviour that creates a dopamine rush in us. That those can be ways we can actually disengage in life and numb out as a way of avoiding pain, sadness, responsibility in life. So we want to make sure its not creating dysfunction.”
I resonated especially with this last sentence; when we