Books, Podcasts and an Occasional Ted Talk

I have been listening to a podcast called “The Healing Catalyst” with Dr. Avanti Kumar Singh who specializes in both western medicine and the eastern healing tradition of Ayurveda. In an episode entitled “Identifying Soft-Addictions to Reduce Inflammation,” Dr. Singh speaks about inflammation and how it is often the common denominator of illness and chronic disease. Some of her wisdom that I pulled from the episode include:

• “There is a connection between the stressors we experience in our lives and inflammation. The bridge between the two which is our choices.”
• “Stress is a physiological response that happens inside of us. Every choice that we make is either anti-inflammatory or inflammatory.”
• “Soft addictions are those that we choose to cope and include overeating, drinking lots of coffee, watching too much TV, procrastinating, scrolling social media, compulsive shopping and overworking.”

Singh goes onto explain that what we often see as an acceptable way to cope, can in fact be a “health weakening choice.” The podcast episode features ways that we can reduce such choices through simple Ayurvedic techniques, that she refers to as “Ayruveda for everyone.”

This is a podcast worth listening to. Follow this link to hear the 19 minute episode: https://www.stitcher.com/show/the-healing-catalyst/episode/identifying-soft-addictions-to-reduce-inflammation-79660697

To visit Dr. Avanti Kumar Singh’s website: https://www.avantikumarsingh.com/

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I have a stack of books that I read for work; in fact, sometimes I have to limit my purchasing as I remind myself to catch up on the ones I have on my shelf! (I have this issue with fictional books too.) Most recently, I read Harriet Lerner’s “Why Won’t You Apologize?” and gained some insight into the art of the apology. Here are some points I resonated with:

• We are all apology-challenged with certain people and in some situations; some apologies are easier to offer than others.
• What drives over-apologizing? We can never know for sure. It may be a reflection of low self-esteem, a diminished sense of entitlement, an unconscious wish to avoid criticism, an excessive wish to placate, some underlying river of shame, or a desire to show off what a well-mannered Brownie Scout is. You don’t need to know what causes something in order to fix it. If you over-apologize, tone it down.
• Perfectionism can make it difficult for any of us to offer a simple apology, because we are unlikely to be able to view our errors and limitations in a light and self-loving way. 
• Not everything is forgivable. Accepting an apology doesn’t always mean reconciliation. The best apology in the world can’t restore connection.
• A true apology does not ask the other person to do anything – not even to forgive.

Lerner’s chapters on forgiveness and finding peace were especially worth reading. Lerner’s words are easy to read, direct and woven with humour. “Why Won’t You Apologize?” is a worthy read.

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I have discovered a new podcast that I am passing along to you. Hosted by success coach and registered psychotherapist, Hina Kahn, “Possibilities” provides to the listener short episodes that promote self-reflection and end with a gratitude practice. Some episodes that I have recently listened to include: “The thing about money,” “Let’s go on a mental detox,” “The thing that will change your year,” and “How to create a better morning routine.”

Hina creates an energetic kindness in her delivery of the topics. What I really love about the podcast is that the episodes are only about 12 minutes long. In a very similar fashion to this blog, we can give ourselves a way to anchor our day that doesn’t take up a lot of our time but still gives us something valuable to think about and work towards. Hina also ends each episode by getting us to jot down something in our gratitude journal that is reflective of the topic she spoke about – what a great way to reinforce the nugget of great information she has provided! “Possibilities” is a wonderful addition to our self-care routine 🙂

To check out the podcast “Possibilities” by Hina Kahn: https://frequencypodcastnetwork.com/podcasts/possibilities-with-hina-khan/

(It also comes up when you search for it through your Podcast app)

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In a podcast episode from Oprah SuperSoul Conversations: Finding Your Authentic Self, Oprah sits with Sarah Ban Breathnach. Featuring a candid conversation about living authentically, she speaks about what holds the power to change the trajectory of our lives:

“There are only three ways to change the trajectory of our lives for better or worse: crisis, chance or choice.”

When I first heard this, it resonated with me. We have all had at least one moment in our lives that we can remember so clearly, it was like it happened yesterday. Crisis has the power to change the direction of where we were going, both in its emotional and physical impact. Sometimes that crisis affects us only as an individual, or within our family or village context; it can even impact us at a community or societal level.  Chance can also change the trajectory of our lives in the opportunities we are given, the serendipitous moments we experience, or simply being somewhere at the right time. It was what Ban Breathnach said about choice that really stuck with me:

“Choice is a spiritual gift – one of the most spiritual gifts we have been given. Choice is the centerpiece of creating your life.”

Although I have never thought of choice as a spiritual gift, I am heartened to think of it that way. The thought that our ability to choose is tied to our spirit brings me comfort. It cements the overall knowledge that regardless of what comes into our lives via challenges, we always have the ability to choose how we are going to react. And that the choices we make both according to our values and our every day experiences have the power to create and design our life. What a lovely way to think about choice. 🙂

To listen to the podcast: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/own/oprahs-supersoul-conversations/e/78165524

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In a podcast episode on Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations, she sits with Bishop T.D. Jakes to talk about Covid-19 and the suffering that has been created by this global pandemic. Although the conversation centers around the experience of the coronavirus, his words about suffering are wide reaching:

“God has never hidden from us that suffering is a part of the journey. It’s dignity that we bring to the suffering that determines the outcome thereof. In the face of our pain, we must not forfeit our dignity.” He goes on to explain that our painful experiences have the ability to create resentment, cynicism and hate; yet we have the choice to allow ourselves to challenge those feelings with dignity.

“Feel the fear, but never give it the wheel.” I particularly love the analogy on this one, as my work with clients often reflects on how best they can be ‘in the driver’s seat.’ Fear will often keep us in the passenger seat of our own life.

“There is a silver lining that lives in the darkest cloud….purpose will always out wrestle pain.” 

As in all challenges we are faced with in life, we have the option to face them with faith, purpose and dignity. A lovely reminder by Bishop T.D. Jakes that we can lean into our pain in order to find its purpose.

To listen to the full podcast: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/own/oprahs-supersoul-conversations/e/69780363

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In a Ted Talk entitled, “Tina Seelig: The Little Risks you can Take to Increase your Luck,” I was impressed by her three pieces of advice that in many ways can be applied to having a healthy emotional life as well. They are as follows:

1. Change the relationship with yourself: “Be willing to take some small risks that get you out of your comfort zone.”
2. Change your relationships with other people: “You need to understand that everyone who helps you on your journey is playing a huge role in getting you to your goals. And if you don’t show appreciation, not only are you not closing the loop, but you are missing an opportunity.”
3. Change your relationship with ideas: “Ideas are neither good nor bad. And in fact, the seeds of terrible ideas are often what grows into something truly remarkable. You need to look at ideas through the lens of possibilities.”

Tina Seelig refers to chance as the “winds of luck” and how it is very often the setting of our own sail that helps to capture those very winds.

To listen to the 12 min Ted Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/tina_seelig_the_little_risks_you_can_take_to_increase_your_luck/transcript?language=en#t-682499

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