Challenging Negative Core Beliefs

Building on our post from yesterday, today we will look at how to begin to challenge our negative core beliefs. The first step, and often what brings people to therapy, is to identify them. Usually, the messages we received consistently are often found in the “unspoken rules in the family,” and can be tied to what role we play in the family. Examples that I have heard from clients:

  • “As long as we were there to work, we were valued.”
  • “I have never felt good enough in her eyes.”
  • “It was all about achievement. If I got a 90, it was why didn’t you get a 95?”
  • “I was the caregiver in the family.”
  • “I was the black sheep.”

Once you have identified the message that has led to a core belief, the next step is to ask yourself, “Does it have to be this way? Whose voice am I really listening to?” 

The third step is to replace the message with one that is more accurate; reflective of what you would have wanted to hear instead. Example: “I may have been the caregiver, but I deserve to be taken care of too.” Replacing the new message, every time you hear the old one, is the key to creating a new pathway in your brain, putting out that torch once and for all. :)

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