We tend to adopt a certain style of communicating based on our temperament, learned behaviour and our experiences growing up. You will most likely see yourself, as well as others in your life, in one of four styles of communicating.
Today we will look at what it is like to communicate in a passive way. If you are apt to communicate in this style, you tend to sacrifice your own needs for others; and you do so willingly. This is an important distinction because it actually feels natural to sacrifice your own needs first. Often a passive communication style includes having difficulty saying no, a tendency towards people pleasing, and being a “giver.” Of course being a giving, self-sacrificing person is a good thing, however if we end up sacrificing our needs at our own expense, what ends up happening is that we send out a message to ourselves and to others that “I am not important and you are.” I like to refer to this as “the position of importance” we take in our life when communicating. The danger of this position is that a build up can occur in which you begin to feel lost in the service of others, whether that be to your family, your work, etc.
If you recognize yourself here, hang tight! We will be looking at all styles of communicating over the course of the next four days and will be touching on how to move towards a position of importance that is closer to achieving balance in the way you communicate.
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