Our healthiest communication style is assertiveness; it is a way of communicating that validates our own needs without dismissing anyone else’s and delivers the message “I am important and so are you.”
When we want to honour our own importance, the first step is to be able to recognize our own needs. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, “What is it I really want in this situation? How do I want to be treated?”
Once we can identify what we need, the next step is to be able to state it. We will get the best result when we are able to do so as calmly as possible, as this will carry more weight and less emotion. Using “I” statements are also a good idea, as they allow you to focus on your own feelings in the situation. For example, “When you show up late, I feel quite uncomfortable and awkward standing outside the theater. Perhaps we can come up with a solution to avoid this happening in the future.”
Sometimes we follow all the rules in honouring both our importance as well as someone else’s and not get the feedback you hoped for and that is okay. What is not to be overlooked is the attempt we made towards improved communication; therefore, we want to reward the effort not the outcome. At the end of the day, you made yourself important and that is to be noted and recognized 🙂
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