As I often note, everything exists on a continuum. The same can be said for narcissistic behaviour; if it goes to far, it can develop into a disorder. Unfortunately, if you are dating someone who exhibits narcissistic traits, you will most likely be left in their dust, as they require a whole lot of time and attention and often have difficulty giving it back. Here are some traits that tend to be narcissistic in nature and can lead to you wondering if you are dealing with a narcissist.
- They have a sense of entitlement and tend to feel they are superior to others. Although a narcissist is in fact, insecure, they present themselves in the beginning as being quite charming and confident. Not too long into the relationship, you will begin to notice that the narcissist only feels safe in top position, and they feel entitled to getting their own way, all the time.
- They have a constant need for attention. From you and from others; which often leads to narcissists either being unfaithful or finding someone else at the tail end of a relationship so that they aren’t alone. It is a process of validation that is tiring and without end.
- They have trouble taking responsibility for their actions. Narcissists tend to carry shame (that is masked of course by their sense of superiority), and so admitting that they made a mistake will threaten their tightly veiled system.
- They don’t tend to have a lot of empathy. Because their emotional capacity is limited, and they put lots of energy into producing a false sense of self, they really don’t have time to think about how you feel.
- They can turn on a dime. You are either the love of their life or their worst enemy; and they reflect both in their actions towards you.
As we all know, we can’t change another person. There are times in relationship, when changing our reactions or our choices can influence the relationship in a way that can produce a desired effect. Dealing with a narcissist; however, can prove to be a very unsatisfying experience as their need to maintain their false sense of self trumps their desire to have a healthy relationship.
Bottom line? If you see the red flags, heed them 🙂
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