Sometimes we struggle with the drama that other people bring into our lives. In an article entitled “7 Better Ways to Deal with Toxic People” by Amy Morin and featured on Psychology Today, we read about specific ways we can create and stick to boundaries that help us in managing that negativity. Morin begins the article by writing:
“While one toxic person may use manipulation and lies, another may resort to intimidation and incivility. And if you’re not careful, people like that can take a serious toll on your well-being. Mentally strong people, however, deal with toxic people in a skilled manner. They refuse to give away their power, and they continue being their best selves no matter who surrounds them.”
Three tips I especially wanted to highlight include:
- “Set physical boundaries. You get to decide how much time and energy you want to devote to people in your life. When someone is toxic, you may need to set clear and firm boundaries about the time you’re going to spend together.” (I always say “take your space when you need to!”)
- “Set emotional boundaries. When you can’t limit your exposure to toxic people, limit the emotional energy you spend on them. Don’t complain about them in your spare time, refuse to allow them to dictate the type of day you’re going to have, and remind yourself you can regulate your feelings.” (I loved this as food for thought…how much time do you spend focusing and complaining about this person? Might be time for some emotional space as well!)
- “Follow through on what you say. Repeatedly threatening to cut someone off or warning someone that you’ll never lend them money again — only to turn around and give them money the next time they ask — makes the situation worse. If you are going to set limits with someone, be a person of your word.” (So true! Follow through always works better than ultimatums with no weight.)
Morin gives us great reminders about how boundaries can work for us in limiting the amount of energy we spend on drama in our lives. To read the full article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201812/7-better-ways-deal-toxic-people
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