We live with defining moments in our lives. The moments that become “before the event and after the event” moments. One such moment in my life was the day that my ex-husband and I had to tell our children that we were separating; without question one of the toughest days of my life and undeniably a defining moment for me. In looking back, I can reflect upon the fact that before the event, it was my time to begin grieving a 23 year relationship. I would cry in the shower, cry when driving, cry before going to sleep but it was only my emotions during that time that I had to worry about. After that day, my emotional energy shifted. Yes, I was still grieving, but I was also very conscious of what the girls were going through and as impossible as it was, I just wanted to shoulder their grief for them.
It has been over five years now and the winds of change have brought me renewed happiness. I suppose it would be easy to look back on that defining moment and wish all the pain and suffering away, but that would not be fair. For during that time, I was also grateful. For the love and laughter of family and friends, the shared grief with my ex, the affectionate support from my girls, the constant and faithful companionship of my dog, and my clients for allowing me to get lost in their stories and distract myself from mine.
Yes, I was encountering grief, sadness and worry, but l also felt love, contentment and acceptance. For it is in our defining moments that we find the whole experience, the tough parts and the joyful parts that bring colour to our stories.
Photo credit: http://Photo by XiaoXiao Sun on Unsplash
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