Yesterday’s post explored the spectrum of emotion when we feel disconnected; vulnerability on one end of the continuum and dominance on the other. When we feel disconnected from ourselves, our loved ones, our community, the first step is to recognize where we are on the spectrum. This allows us to acknowledge our struggle and to set as our goal a desire to find some middle ground.
In order to begin to feel connected, we require the use of empathy. When we are either polarizing between ends of the spectrum, or stuck in one, we will struggle with our ability to understand and share the feelings of another. As we swim in either feelings of disappointment or get stuck in the blame game, we often fail to explore the situation from an objective standpoint. Using empathy will create greater connection as it:
- will shift you into thinking about how the other person might feel
- will allow you to recognize that you may have played a part in the conflict
- allows you to try to understand even if you don’t agree
- allows you to regulate your own emotions
When we can step outside of the situation (talking to a friend or therapist will help), we can allow empathy to bring a softer light to the situation. It may not change the outcome but it does allow a greater acceptance of the situation and an increased sense of peace – that often accompanies acceptance. Sometimes it can change the outcome, as it allows for repair. In either case, we feel better as the middle ground rises to meet us.
Information for this post was found in the book “This Changes Everything” by Christina Robb
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@walre037