We all get in those prickly, confrontational moods. Sometimes we can have a sour day at work, someone cut us off on our way to the grocery store, or our partner says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Other times, we might be quietly minding our own business, and we get pulled into someone else’s need for an argument. In any case, we end up heated and the fight is on.
Whenever we are in a confrontational mood, there is one question that we can ask ourselves that might help us temper the moment, moving us to take a break from what is clearly becoming the perfect storm.
Taking a deep breath, we need to ask ourselves “Okay, am I doing this to be right or to be effective?” The need to be right will rarely lead to a solution; leaning into anger almost always sends out the message: “I don’t really care what you think.” Being effective, however, leads almost always to a solution. Your goal becomes to find a compromise; sometimes that means simply taking a break from the argument; returning to the conversation after everyone has cooled their jets.
“Am I doing this to be right or to be effective?” Try it out….you may be pleasantly surprised by it’s effect on you 🙂