We have all heard the phrase “Time heals all wounds.” And perhaps in some instances, it does. Perhaps the passing of time helps move us farther away from what brought us heartache or loss.
When it comes to forgiveness; however, time tends to just pass along. When someone has betrayed us, the hurt has the potential to sit weighted. The bitterness and anger that comes as a result of the betrayal has nowhere to go, so it rolls around inside us, settling down as stones in our heart.
The decision to forgive someone is a choice that we make. It doesn’t happen automatically – the emotions tied up to the act of betrayal will keep you in an angry place to protect you. The decision to forgive someone is a choice that once decided, works away at those stones until your heart feels less heavy, lighter, and free of bitterness. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse what happened. And if the betrayal was such that it ended the relationship, forgiveness doesn’t need to change that either. Forgiveness is a choice you make for yourself.
As Bernard Meltzer stated:
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” – Bernard Meltzer
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Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@dmacros