The Four Agreements; Post 3

Moving right along in our series on “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Don Miguel Ruiz, today we explore the third agreement:

  • “Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

Making assumptions is something we all do. Sometimes it is because we are afraid to ask; others times it may be that we assume how someone is feeling by their non-verbal cues. In either case, if we catch ourselves guessing, we are best served to gather up our courage and ask what is going on. This can be done without judgement or the assumption that it must have to do with us (as the last agreement taught us.)

We have all learned communication habits from our childhood homes and the people that raised and influenced us – sometimes those are great communication habits and sometimes, not so much. It is up to us as adults to learn the skills that are going to allow us to push past our communication comfort zone and move from the position of promoting open communication. It is here that we learn if we are reacting or responding, being in a reactive position or a pro-active one. As Ruiz mentioned, this can be a transformative process.

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