We tend to afford the people in our life empathy and compassion. Although at times it may be difficult to accept their difficult characteristics or what they can’t provide to us, we usually get ourselves to a place of acceptance; understanding that it is less about potential and more about capacity. We encourage and support our loved ones, provide praise for their achievements, forgive their mistakes, and by doing so, give them permission to grow.
What about our relationships to our self? Ultimately, we tend to be more grounded when we include ourselves in the group of ‘our loved ones.’ In order to give ourselves the same graces that we give to others, let’s keep in mind:
- Our internal voice. If you wouldn’t say it to your child, spouse, friend, colleague – let’s not say it to ourselves.
- Permission. Just as we give others faith in the capacity to change, so can we give ourselves permission. Permission to try something new, permission to change something we don’t like, permission to challenge our fears, permission to take the first step, permission to try.
- Compassion. We can see ourselves in the same light that we afford others – by forgiving ourselves, giving ourselves a break, recognizing when we are being too hard on ourselves.
Let’s begin by simply including ourselves as being an integral part in who we consider our loved ones. By doing so, we begin to recognize our own value and the way we treat others will be afforded to us as well; leaving us to feel honoured, calm and cared for.
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@chela_bonky