When grieving, a feeling that can be common is that of guilt. In the midst of our sadness, when we struggle to process a loved one’s death and their physical absence from our life, we often experience guilt for feeling any amount of joy. Sometimes it can even catch us off guard and we immediately feel as though we have somehow failed our loved ones. From this, there can develop what we consider to be a homage of sorts; that while we still grace the earth with our presence, we will dampen our joy so as not to let anyone doubt the depth of our love for the one who has passed.
When this occurs and it is brought to our attention, a common question gets asked of us; “Would – your loved one – want you to be this sad? Would they ask that you contain your joy for the rest of your life?” And the answer is always “No, of course not.” I have never heard a client or otherwise answer that question with a “Yes, I think that is what they would want of me.”
The reason that this question resonates is because of the inheritance of joy. It is in the energy of the universe. Just as we want the very best for our loved ones in our life, so, I believe we would want that in our death. That by grieving our loved one’s passing and by honouring the special relationship that we had with them, we also move towards the renewal of a life of contentedness and peace. The inheritance of joy – a lovely way to think of the parting gift of our loved ones.