People come to therapy because they are wishing something would change. Sometimes it has to do with someone in their life, sometimes it has to do with themselves; in either case, there are times when we are willing to change, and other times when we have gotten stuck in hoping for change.
What is the difference?
- when we hope for change, we tend to convince ourselves that the future will be different. For example, we may be dissatisfied with a relationship and know that things are not where they should be, but we stay the course, hoping that things will change with time (let’s face it, they usually don’t – at least not without accountability and professional help.)
- when we hope for change, we procrastinate. We may be aware of something that we want to change or improve, but aren’t doing much about it. An example might be breaking an unhealthy habit or knowing we need more self-care in our lives.
- when we hope for change, we spent too much time lamenting on the problem and not on the solution. If you get the sense that you are in the “poor me” cycle, then you probably are.
When we are in the process of actively changing something, we are dedicated and feel purposeful. We have faith in ourselves that we can get there, no matter how slowly or how many stepping stones it may take. We give self-doubts only a little bit of time and space before settling back into accepting that we are our own solution 🙂
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