There are times in our lives where we so desire closure but struggle to get it. Someone has hurt us and we want to understand why. Someone dies un-expectantly and we struggle with the existential question of their loss. Unanswered questions in a break up can leave us feeling vulnerable.
We know that with closure comes acceptance, but what happens if closure isn’t provided in the experience? Let’s face it – some people won’t apologize because they can’t and some things just can’t be explained. But we can create closure for ourselves:
- Do something experiential. Write a letter with all of your thoughts and feelings about the situation or the person and then burn it. Say some prayers or create some thoughtful intentions for your own healing.
- Give yourself time. ‘Time heals all wounds’ is a saying that may not be completely accurate in every situation, but it can work when we understand that healing is a journey and it does take time.
- Recognize a trigger for what it is. There are going to be events that will re-create feelings for you; understand that these are completely normal and they don’t indicate progress lost.
- Practice gratitude. The overall practice of consciously being thankful for the blessings in our lives helps us get through our painful moments.
- Reframe thoughts. Sometimes in our pain, we focus on the “Why me?” and fail to recognize our strength, courage, and growth.
We won’t always be granted closure. Although this has the ability to hinder progress, we can decide that it won’t. By making the decision that we will create closure for ourselves, we also make the decision to choose the path of healing.
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Photo credit: http://Photo by Lasse Møller on Unsplash