I often hear in therapy that “self-care feels selfish.” One of the things we explore when first hearing this statement surrounds a person’s understanding of why they feel that way.
If we tend to be someone who self-sacrifices or is a people-pleaser, self-care does not come naturally. Hence, the feeling that we are being selfish. Other times our busy lives dictate this feeling. Running around with little kids, having a commitment laden job, or trying to manage work and home life can sometimes throw time for yourself on the back burner. Giving any thought to self-care feels self-absorbed. Perhaps growing up we didn’t witness our own parents pursuing a personal interest or spending time on their own with friends.
Self-care is not about self-preoccupation. In fact, when we ascribe to self-care practices, we allow ourselves to better take care of those we love. When we have the ability to first recognize and then begin to practice the art of balanced self-care, we have more calm energy. We have spent some time purposely feeding our comfort system. This leaves us less frazzled, less overwhelmed, less crabby. We have a better us to present to our family and friends.
Self-care is not selfish, is it an act of love that we choose not only for ourselves, but for those we love as well. 🙂
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@sixteenmilesout
is it because we dont want to go too far towards too self oriented becoming not caring enough?
Sometimes there is that fear that we can end up overcompensating and go from being selfless to selfish. When we are aware of this potentially happening, we can keep it in check if need be. Most of the time however, people will continue to put themselves on the back burner and self care is what we then need to keep in check 🙂