Let’s Try and Avoid “Should”

The word should is one that rolls right off the tongue:

“I should exercise more.”

“I should be able to do that.”

“You should take my advice.” 

According to the dictionary,  you use the word should when you are saying what would be the right thing to do or the right state for something to be in. 

The problem with the word is that it goes against our goal to be open minded and flexible. When we hear the word should, it implies rigidity and control; our own critical voice will use it to judge ourselves. It strengthens core beliefs, it will put someone’s back up. It also reinforces our tendency to want to be right about something (as nothing builds our ego more quickly.)

Using it really doesn’t serve us well. We walk away feeling diminished, we make other people feel inferior. Instead, we can make the conscious effort to find alternatives:

“I enjoy walking and am going to try to get out once a day.”

“Maybe I can try it this way and find greater success.”

“I wonder if you tried this, would it help you?”

When we use the word try, we have opened up possibility and potential; we have implied choice. We give ourselves and others permission to be flexible and open to success. We tame criticism and encourage praise and support. Let’s try and avoid “should.” 🙂

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@adigold1

4 thoughts on “Let’s Try and Avoid “Should””

  1. My husband and I promised not to ‘should’ on each other when we got married. Doesn’t always work 26 years later, but we try.

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