Living by Design II; Dr. Phil Continued

Building upon yesterday’s post, I would like to touch on Dr. Phil’s Living by Design Series, Episode 2; specifically the factors that need to be present in order to have a healthy family. Dr. Phil notes that in order to be ready for change, we need to have a family system that can support it. He is quite clear that sometimes that means creating it; especially if we weren’t one of the lucky ones who were naturally granted it. Here are the 5 factors:

  1. We need to have a nurturing and accepting family system. Dr. Phil notes that everyone’s number one fear is rejection and that everyone’s top need is acceptance, therefore the family system needs to nurture every family member and let every family member feel accepted.
  2. We need the family to have rhythm and not chaos. Dr. Phil notes that we need to have a pattern to the family; it can include spontaneity, but that it needs predictability, routine and a calming rhythm that every family member can rely on.
  3. There are active communications in the family. Dr. Phil urges us to spent time talking to our kids about things that do not matter because its great practice for when we have to talk to them about the things that do matter.
  4. Create rituals and traditions in the family. Dr. Phil talks about creating traditions around things such as birthdays and holidays – memories that your kids are going to carry 30 and 40 years from now.
  5. A healthy family has to have crisis management. Dr. Phil states that every family member needs to know that when crisis occurs, there is no judgement, no punishment, no problem – the crisis gets managed and every family member is a resource. He goes on to say that everyone in the family needs to know that when problems arise, their primary unit is their family.

I consider this to be fridge-worthy information; tacking it up where we can see it as part of our everyday family goals. Thank you Dr. Phil!

He also talks in the podcast about the seven core characteristics of a champion. Listen to it at:

Photo credit: http://Photo by Kevin Delvecchio on Unsplash

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