To Love Unconditionally

Building upon yesterday’s post about what it means to have a secure attachment, today we look at the elements with a bit more detail:

-from the Webster’s dictionary:

  • Stability: the quality or state of being stable
  • Consistency: degree of solidity//true to principles or policy//in accordance
  • Attunement: to bring into harmony
  • Responsiveness: to reply//to show an effect

When we can provide stability and consistency to those we love, we are sending them the message “You can count on me.” When we are attuned to our loved ones, we are reacting to their needs, emotions and nonverbal messages in a way so as to communicate that they are understood. When we show responsiveness, we are validating¬†their experiences. If we love in a secure way, we generate acceptance; the factor most affecting a healthy level of emotional safety.

Acceptance, for who you are as a person, is to love and be loved unconditionally. If you were granted the experience of secure attachment as a child, you have most likely found it easier to love securely in turn.  As with everything that exists on a continuum, so does attachment. Tomorrow we will look at what unspoken rules can mean in a family, and how less secure attachment styles can develop out of the conditions of love.

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