The “Poor Me” Cycle

There are times when we get into a “poor me” or “why me” train of thinking. Sometimes it comes from a lot of stress that we are under, chronic pain can bring it on, or our life circumstances are feeling particularly challenging for whatever reason. And although it is perfectly okay to recognize and accept that this is the way we are feeling, we must be cautious not to stay there. Defeatist thinking tends to create a cycle that can lead to feeling stuck, and if we give the “poor me’s” too much care and attention, we can begin to live in the “poor me cycle.”

Characterized by thoughts such as “Why does this always happen to me? How come I can’t get ahead? What is wrong with me? How come I can’t catch a break?,” we begin to lean into helpless thinking. And when we begin to feel helpless and hopeless, we have moved into identifying as a victim; someone who moves in a place of complacency and eventual apathy; about their situation, their experiences, and sometimes their life in general. As cycles like to build on each layer, the apathy feeds both lethargy and procrastination which equals, feeling stuck.

We are much better served to give the “poor me’s” only a tad bit of attention. To acknowledge that, yes, I am feeling a bit down on myself, but then to push away from those thoughts and to lean into ones such as “One day at a time. I can make decisions that affect and move my life forward. No matter what, I’ll be okay. I can do this; I can make choices that are support me moving forward.”

By leaning into a more healthy way of thinking, we stay out of the poor me cycle, moving towards the type of change that facilitates growth and a feeling of pride and accomplishment.

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2 thoughts on “The “Poor Me” Cycle”

  1. im in a horrible place since last september. i wouldnt call it’poor me’. more like ‘why me’ God. what have i done. i keep saying ‘one day at a time’. i asked my spouse, am i dying a slow death? i also had surgery at the end of april with complications later, my own fault. im just trying to stay on that floating piece of ice.

    • Hi Brian, sometimes our life circumstances can keep us in that place of ‘Why me?’ Usually the feeling is the same; feeling victimized to the situation. By taking things one day at a time, you are focusing on what you can. That is a good strategy. Take care of yourself; I will keep you in my prayers, xo


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