We often recognize that we are harder on ourselves than we are on other people. But what are the side effects of self-criticism? When our internal dialogue towards ourselves tends to be more negative than positive, it can produce the following:
- we feed the blues. Negative thinking, whether to ourselves or about others, will feed depression and apathy.
- we feed our insecurities. The things we don’t feel confident about will stay that way with negative self-talk.
- we reinforce our core beliefs. The schemas that we carry about ourselves usually develop in childhood and tend to not be accurate. By being hard on ourselves, we inadvertantly reinforce our scripts from childhood.
- it affects our ability to connect with others. When we self-critisize, it can interupt our ability to read others.
- we make assumptions. About our ability, about being judged, about our needs, about what we are capable of achieving.
We are much better served to begin working on a new narrative; one that allows ourselves to be objective and self-compassionate. It is when we begin the process of being kinder to ourselves do we soften in our assumptions, and we begin to reinforce a healthier way of thinking.
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