There are always going to be things that end up not being in our control. Situations where our hands are tied and we are darned if we do and darned if we don’t. What is in our control are the situations in which we tie our own hands; ones that we can recognize really aren’t getting us anywhere at the end of the day. Some examples include:
- People pleasing. When we say yes automatically without asking ourselves if we have the time, energy and support to do so, we bind ourselves. It becomes an ever ending cycle of people asking (because we say yes), and then being exhausted and/or feeling taken advantage of.
- Taking a defensive stance. When we have to justify our position to others, we feed dysfunction. When we get offended when someone points something out to us, we fail to explore accountability.
- Expecting others to change. Ouch. That is a tough one but we all fall prey to it. Yet it completely ties our hands as we stay in the position of looking at potential versus reality.
- Resisting reality. The saying “It is what it is” is a factual statement. It refers to the now, the present moment, and if we constantly push against reality, we end up depressed (focusing on the past), or anxious (worrying about the future.)
In all of these situations, we are better served to recognize that we tie our own hands by staying in their loops. Challenging ourselves to see and act differently will help us to feel freer, more settled, and truer to ourselves.
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@mengmengniu