Yesterday’s post examined what social anxiety is and how it tends to develop for people. Today, we will look at ways that we can begin to challenge social anxiety by lessening it’s hold on us.
The first step comes by way of exploring why social anxiety has become an issue. When we can understand something, it tends to give us permission to ask ourselves “Does it have to be this way?” It is also important to recognize that what may have started out as an association, has now become a fully formed habit due to reinforcement; after all, the more we feed something, the bigger it gets.
Tips for challenging social anxiety:
- Start small. Going to the biggest event in history is probably not the best way to challenge social anxiety. Instead, choose an event in which there are going to be people present that you know, as well as a few people that you don’t.
- Create a safety net. Arrive with someone you know, position yourself closest to an exit (sometimes just knowing that you can ‘escape’ helps), give yourself a timeline (commit to an hour), purposely choose your time to go to the store or use the phone (peak times are not the time to be challenging your social anxiety.) Feeling safer in social interactions will help to temper the fear response.
- Get your mind into it. Your body is designed to react to your fear response; by challenging that fear with curiosity and positive affirmations, we can begin to temper our visceral response. Are you telling yourself you are going to be judged, or are you telling yourself that people are usually pretty wrapped up in what they are doing, and not really noticing what is going on with you. Use reality; logic, your rational voice. Tell yourself what you would tell a friend.
- Practice, practice, practice. Challenging a fear means choosing a different focus and creating a new habit. Social situations can be less daunting, and as you challenge those fears, it will increase your self-confidence and sense of agency.
The goal of challenging social anxiety is simply to become more comfortable with social interactions and meeting new people. Big crowds and social situations may still give you the nervous nellies, but with coping strategies in place, you also can be reassured that you don’t have to continually miss out. Sounds like a good plan to me 🙂
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