Moving right along in our series of tools of change, today we look at the importance of self-compassion.
The graces we afford to others we often don’t grant to ourselves. When we falter, create a blunder, or don’t accomplish something quickly enough (according to our own standards and expectations), we have the tendency to be hard on ourselves. This is the critical time in the element of change, as we can easily fall into the “I can’t do this” trap; our core beliefs begin clamouring for space as they sense an opening to appear.
What is needed as a tool of change is self-compassion. Kristin Neff, an expert in the field, has this to say about self-compassion:
“You may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are. Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness.”
When we begin to have the same compassion, caring and empathy for ourselves as we do for our loved ones, we begin to recognize the importance that change offers us. With self-compassion, we increase the likelihood of success – of braving the storm, of creating a healthier habit, of facing a fear. We can see ourselves as our very own ally in our quest for change.
To visit Kristin Neff’s website: https://self-compassion.org/
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@giulia_bertelli
i dont expect the day to come when i have the self-compassion for myself, that i give to others.
I hope that you can achieve self-compassion one day Brian 🙂
Love Kristin Neff’s videos, they are like an entire course in self compassion and she speaks as warmly as if you are sitting at the kitchen table together.
Yes, she is very easy to listen to and a good presenter!