I came across this quote by Anne Lamott:
“It’s funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools – friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty – and said ‘do the best you can with these, they will have to do’. And mostly, against all odds, they do.”
― Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith
When we consider coping strategies, we often think about the tangible things we have learned over time. Grounding techniques such as deep breathing when we feel anxious, positive affirmations when we experience self-doubt, acting ‘as-if’ when we feel quite unmotivated, building our time, self-care strategies.
Lamott reminds us; however, that the tools we use can also come from what we ascribe meaning to. For some people, that will be friendships or prayer, for others their value system and moral code. We can lean into the qualities that we hold dear such as authenticity and grace, honesty and connection. We can learn from our mistakes which leads to wisdom and when we know better, we do better which leads to patience. We can experience and learn from grief, from forgiveness, from both our challenges and our joys. We can lean into laughter and contentedness.
What becomes the tools we use will follow not only what we deem to work best for us, but also what sits well with our soul. Thank you for the reminder, Anne Lamott 🙂
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@natalino_damato
i never heard of coping strategies in my younger days
i had to come up with my own. my way of relieving stress was to say ‘i dont care’
i was raised to hide emotions and not to cry
today we are blessed to have therapy and everything we are taught through it
ty
Great to hear that you have come out of a time when you couldn’t express yourself to a time that you can 🙂