When we think about the longevity and sustainability of relationships, two factors play a big role:
- Compatibility. Do you share the same type of values with your partner? Are you similar in how you like to spend your time? Enjoy a lot of the same activities? Are you in agreement as to how to discipline children? Do you share a semblance of work ethic and ambition? Although we can certainly appreciate the differences that two people bring to a relationship, and can work with an opposite-attracts type of union, compatibility tends to rank higher in the ability to maintain a strong emotional bond. For established relationships, working towards common goals and values can help to strengthen compatibility factors and for anyone in the dating world, keeping the goal of a well-matched union will often lead to a healthier choice with less potential conflict.
- Unity. Very often our values and goals line up to create a team-like approach to our relationship, giving each other the feeling that we are joined “as a whole” so to speak. This does not mean that we are not individuals within the relationship, but rather it is the inherent feeling of consistency and integration in our movement forward as a couple.
Compatibility and unity are factors, invariably, that lead to a greater strengthening of our attachment system. Just the sound of those words together brings about feelings of security, and the notion of a safe space to land in. 🙂
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