A Way to Look at Relationships

We know that in order to have a relationship with someone, it will require commitment. There are times when we perceive that being in a committed relationship means we have surrendered to it. This perception most likely has been created partly by society and the notion that “marriage comes with a ball and chain;” it can also come from learned attitudes/experiences of those in our family of origin.

Being in a healthy relationship does require consideration of the other, at times compromise and sacrifice, and an overall feeling of satisfaction and reciprocity. It is an opportunity to live and create a conscious partnership/marriage. When we make choices that support the health of a relationship, we are not surrendering to it; rather we are building it.

If we feel that we have surrendered ourselves in the context of the relationship – that we have lost ourselves to another – then the work begins in ourselves as we begin to self-reflect on our own identity. We do this by exploring our core values and beliefs, our characteristics and qualities, our interests.  We begin to move from the position that “I am important and so are you.” We recognize ourselves as a valuable part of the union of two people. (This can be applied to any relationship, not just our intimate one.)

The language we use to describe our relationships is important. We can move from the notion that we surrender to marriage into one of creating it; designing and framing one that feeds our need for a simple love and a deep attachment.

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@evertonvila

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